Number Five

Now that I’ve mastered the voice command for blogging….this is one long post! It’s just me, sitting in bed with coffee this morning while it rains, talking into my phone. This is the perfect morning! Ha!

On Thursday afternoon I picked up my first ever prescription glasses. They are progressive lenses. When I first put them on I assured the lady helping me that the prescription must be wrong. I couldn’t see a thing! She then assured me that the prescription was correct and that progressive lenses would take me a while to get used to. You guys, learning how to walk down stairs with progressives on is NO JOKE!

A picture I sent to one of my grandkids last night. I can see!

I should’ve been wearing prescription glasses a long time ago, which I knew. I have been getting by with the readers for a long time. She told me the more that I wore them the quicker my eyes would adjust. I put them on and had no plans of taking them off for the rest of the day. Three hours after getting the glasses I worked a WW meeting. I’m very used to taking my readers off and putting them back on several times throughout the day. I also do that at work. Towards the end of the 30 minute meeting I took the classes off to say something to the members and I got really dizzy. I went into full on panic mode. I felt lightheaded and I could not think of one thing to say. I did let them know I had new glasses and that I was feeling a bit dizzy. I backed up to the wall and leaned up against it. Then I simply had no words. I felt 28 pairs of eyes looking at me and I had absolutely nothing to say. Then a hot flash came. Then the sweat came. I just looked at all of them and said, “Well, goodbye and have a good week. I don’t know what else to say.” It was so embarrassing. We still had a few minutes left of the 30 minute meeting. I couldn’t believe I just stood there in front of so many people with no words coming out of my mouth.

The subject matter last week was all about sleep and how it is such an important part of our overall health. It was so ironic because I was definitely feeling sleep deprived and lost all concentration.

My Friday meetings went much better. I was certain to keep my glasses on so that I did not get dizzy.🤣 What a dork I can be.

I headed down to my girlfriend’s farm on Friday after work for a girls weekend. I was looking forward to zero responsibilities.

We did all of our usual fun farm stuff. Build fires, ride four-wheelers, hunt for a bitter sweet, get caught up with one another, play games, laugh and eat snacks and enjoy some drinks.

I’m usually in that rocking chair seeing if I can mess up the fire.


Here’s the porch in the daytime. A great place for that first cup of coffee if it’s not too chilly!


Getting the big fire ready for the evening. I like to poke at this one too and mess it up, which I did. 

Several of my friends are doing Keto so there were no sugary snacks to tempt me. Those were probably the healthiest food choices ever when going to the farm for a weekend! 

Saturday night it was just me and my friend Steph, sitting inside by the fire and chatting. I can’t remember how long she’s had the farm now but I’ve always loved going down there and relaxing and she knows how much I love it.

We watched movies (Dirty Dancing and Jerry McGuire) and Steph made a big pot of sausage soup for dinner. We went to bed at 10 o’clock, 9 o’clock after we set the clocks back. It was a perfect day and night of relaxing and getting some much needed rest.

I came home early Sunday morning, jumped in the shower and then headed back out to work at WW. No panic attacks and glasses remained ON! This working on weekends thing is a huge adjustment! But I am loving meeting so many people and so happy to have a job that I love.

Last week I had my appointment to see the hand specialist. Apparently I have tendinitis that requires surgery. Well of course I do! We have a ridiculously high out of pocket amount for our insurance and I guess I’m trying to see if we can reach it! I love to spend money. 

On Friday I am having surgery. That’s right. This is surgery NUMBER FIVE in just 15 months.

It is just a simple procedure that will only take about 45 minutes, and then I will be in a splint for a couple of weeks. It is my right hand and I am right-handed.

After I accepted the realization that I was going to have to have yet another surgery (I was so trying to hold it together, but my eyes would not stop watering. I really had no idea he was going to say surgery.) I asked him to look at my other hand. My left thumb has been locking in a bent position off and on for about the last three weeks. There is now a knot at the end of my thumb inside my palm and it feels bruised?

He said I have “trigger thumb”. He is going to give me a Cortizone shot in that thumb during the surgery on the other hand. 🙄

I really don’t know where all of this is coming from. I have a theory. Of course it could all just simply be coincidental.

When you have estrogen positive breast cancer, you take an estrogen blocker for anywhere from 5 to 10 years after your cancer treatment. I found my cancer early and it was Stage 1, Grade 1. I was prescribed the estrogen blocker Tamoxifen for five years. After I had my hysterectomy the oncologist suggested taking a different estrogen blocker that postmenopausal women take. Okay. This one was called Arimidex. I had terrible side effects with the Arimidex that only seemed to involve my fingers, hands, wrists and forearms. I took that medication for eight weeks. The oncologist then put me back on the Tamoxifen. She said that would work fine for me as an estrogen blocker. Again. Okay.

My fingers and hands and arms have not felt normal since I stopped taking the Arimidex.

My oncologist tells me that the hand and joint issues that I am having have nothing to do with taking either of the estrogen blockers.

I’ve read several articles on breastcancer.org and the American Cancer Society website (recommended sites for information from my breast surgeon) about joint pain that can be related to taking estrogen blockers. It can also make you feel fatigued. I thought I felt so fatigued now because I’m having a hard time getting a good nights sleep because of the hand issue keeping me awake.

I really don’t know what to think or what to believe. I guess it doesn’t matter, but I am one of those “need to know” people and I just wish I had some answers as to why I am feeling like I am.

Maybe it all is completely coincidental. I just know that I am continuing down this path of complete frustration with my body.

A few years back I did Whole30. We have done it a few times since that first time as well. If you are not familiar with that, it has nothing to do with Weight Watchers or weight loss really, although weight loss can happen during Whole30, but more to do with removing all processed foods from your diet and re-establishing your relationship with food. The idea is to eliminate certain foods and then work them back in one at a time and see if they are having an effect on your body or not.

You can read my first Whole30 recap.

No sugar, no dairy, no grains, no legumes, no beans, no alcohol. It is admittedly very restrictive, but my joints felt incredible at the end of the 30 days and I was sleeping great. I’ve definitely continued to eat less processed foods since doing that Whole30 and I have learned a lot about how different foods affect my body.

I’m going to spend all of November and December trying to eat as clean as possible. I will not do 60 days or 30 days of eliminating those items 100%, but I am going to try to eliminate as many processed foods as possible and see if I can just get to feeling better and sleeping better.

2019 is our year. I’m going to work really hard over this next 60 days to do all that I can to see if I can make my body feel better so I can go into 2019 feeling as close to 100% as possible. I feel like I’ve been taking pretty good care of myself but maybe my attitude has not been all that it could be.

I told Mike that if anything at all happens in 2019 that has a negative connotation. I don’t want to hear about it. If he gets even a cold, I don’t want to know. I also told my mom she was not allowed to tell me if she wasn’t feeling well.

My mom – “Honey I’m not sure I could do that.”

Me – “Mom, you have no choice!”

I was kidding of course, (kind of) but I’m really just focusing on positive energy and positive things happening in 2019.

Mike and I have taken a spring break trip with friends for the last several years. We had to cancel our trip in January 2018 because of my cancer and surgery. We had to cancel our trip in January of 2017 because I could not seem to shake the flu. This week we booked our trip to Mexico with friends. We WILL be going on vacation in January!

I am so looking forward to Tess and Manuel’s wedding in March, I can hardly stand it!

2019 is going to be amazing!

Just you wait and see!

“love the life you live, live the life you love”

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Number Five